Wednesday, 9 June 2010

The Bloomin' Great Tragedy of Cayton

Resolute villagers have been left 'devastated' by a crass, vindictive and most horrid act. Cayton, near Scarborough, is a regular finalist in the Royal Horticultural Society's Britain in Bloom final. Their place is dangling by a wispy shoot of Convolvulus. Sabotage is a word that is on the lips of many villagers.


Titchmarsh has expressed his fury
of this indiscriminate slaughter

Their proud blooms have withered in the face of a vicious assault of weed-killer. The culprit or culprits, remain at large. Burgeoning colours and life has been replaced by crumpled Chrysanthemums and death-stricken Dahlias that adorned this once colourful and proud village. Police described this heinous act as being 'calculating and malicious'.

Residents first noticed that their shrubs were dying two weeks ago. Test on a white substance show that the poison used was sodium chlorate, a substance that is now banned.

The villagers were not feeling glad all over


Les Hutchinson, The chairman of Cayton in Bloom group is defiant. They shall still compete.

He went on to say, "A great deal of time, effort and expense goes into Cayton in Bloom and the organisers are quite rightly angered and upset by what has happened.

"We are appealing for any information that could assist the investigation to identify the culprit.

"Someone out there knows who is responsible. Please, do the right thing and report them, either direct to the police or anonymously via Crimestoppers."

Good luck to them.

I shall spare you the details of what they did to Mrs Bickerstaff's Victoria Sponge.


Quote of the Day: "To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves." - Mahatma Gandhi

Word of the Day: Dehisce - to burst open, as the pod of a plant

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

South Africa 2010 - Group B


World Cup 2010, South Africa, Group B
Argentina
Nigeria
South Korea
Greece

A mixed bag of talent, crazy hairstyles, international disquiet and failing economies.

Argentina
Population: 40,134,425
Capital: Buenos Aires
National Dish: Parilla - Liver, Kidney, Intestine... basically offal, cooked on a grill.
National Dress: Gaucho Costume - Think Strictly Come Dancing and a camp matador
Greatest Invention: The ballpoint pen
Most Famous Supporter: Eva Peron

She is no Anne Widdcombe

Nickname: La Albiceleste (White and Sky Blue)
Most famous player: Diego Maradona (and the Hand of God!)
World Cup Record: Winners '78 and '86
Prediction: Sr Maradona has picked a player (4 caps - including one for a charity match for Haiti) on the fact that he was the only recognisable face in a dream lifting the trophy. They will either limp out in the group stage or win the cup. Who knows?


Nigeria

Population: 154,729,000
Capital: Abuja
National Dish: Nigeria is a bit of a smorgasboard of different cultures. Too many dishes to mention one.
National Dress: Outlandish pyjamas
Greatest Invention: Jay Jay Okocha


Flair!

Most Famous Supporter: Ben Okri

Nickname: The Eagles
Most famous player: Rashidi Yekini
World Cup Record: 2nd Round '94 and '98
Prediction: Second in the group but bowing out in the second round again, this time against France.



South Korea

Population: 50,062,000
Capital: Seoul
National Dish: Pickled cabbage or man's best friend

Woof! Woof!

National Dress: Hanbok - Think Elizabethan England, but with a lot more colour.
Greatest Invention: Thundersticks - Inflatable sticks that are banged together to make a racket - Thanks!
Most Famous Supporter: Park Ji-Sung
Nickname: Taeguek Jeonosa (Taeguek Warriors!)
Most famous player: Park Ji-Sung (Captain and Man Utd stalwart)World Cup Record: 4th Place '02
Prediction: A struggle to overhaul Nigeria for the second spot, but they did surprise us in 2002.


Greece

Population: 11,306,183 (of which 2% pay any tax)
Capital: Athens

It is not just their economy that has crumbled

National Dish: Moussaka - de....licious!

National Dress: Think Oompa-lumpa
Greatest Invention: The Olympics
Most Famous Supporter: Plato, Aristotle, Archimedes? Ok, someone more recent... Penelope Spheeris

Nickname: Phalanx
Most famous player: Theodoris Zaograkis (Once of Leicester City)
World Cup Record: Group Stage!
Prediction: No improvement. A limp exit to confound their current economic misery.


Quote of the Day: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"- Plato - a long time ago

Word of the Day: Gastropher - a person skilled in matters of eating