A stuttering mumble and some indiscernible English passed my lips, earlier. When someone smiles at me and nods, I generally am quite capable of saying ‘Good Evening’. The smiler and nodder, in question, was Ray Stubbs. Ray Stubbs, I hear you say. All Sports fans will know that he has been hands on within the TV world of sports. A genuine nice guy amidst the 'job for the boys' bores that plague our screens. Whilst I enjoy his work and have granted him the term ‘legend’ in the past, he is by no means someone scary! Why could I not gather myself and wish him well on this balmy summers evening? What is it about celebrities/famous people that tend to affect your basic skills? Or is it just me?
For my sins, I once shadowed a chap called David Thelfall (Frank from Shameless) round Sainsbury's in Hammersmith. I was intrigued as to what an actor might be doing there and what he might be buying! Sour Cream, Avocado and some Tiger Beer, if you were wondering... That seems perfectly normal to me, although I might trade Tsing Tao for Tiger Beer. I am thinking that he missed a few things of his original shop and was preparing Fajitas for some lucky people. Not that I put much thought into it.
I once stood next to Des Lynam having just watched, mine and his, beloved Brighton and Hove Albion triumph in an end-to-end, cup final-esque type performance (Truth be told, it was a bit rubbish). I had an undying urge to speak to him. This is Des Lynam after all. The King of Grandstand. All I could muster was an uneasy smile and continue devour my plate of nibbles. Why? Well, this one is easy, Des is the coolest man to have walked the planet (ignoring the obvious choice, David Attenbrough) and I didn’t want to put him under any awkward pressure to make conversation. Whilst I may be coming across as a celebrity stalker, I shall never get to the stage whereby I send Ken Dodd some underwear and a dead rat. That tickle stick never did it for me.
I am not a subscriber to the type of magazine that delves into the world of celebre. Hello! OK! Wassup! Two of my University flatmates were fans of such magazine and inevitably, avoiding doing some work (or run out of money for the pub), I would peruse said magazines. Why does one want to know the intimate details of someone they have never met or why does one want to know how [insert unknown TV presenter or IT Girl] they lost 12lbs in two days; cutting back on the fake tan would be a good start. That surely adds to the overall mass of the person. Normal (?) people can make an obscene fortune for simply being famous for being famous.
To save dull conversation, embarrassments and the risk of looking a bit sad, one should refer to the greatest of lessons taught to me.You should never name drop..... Mick Jagger told me that.
If you haven’t stopped reading...
Swine Flu watch: Day Seven(?) – Apparently the neighbours of my workplace have caught it, so I shall up the Vitamin C or whatever wards it off.
Word of the Day: Pampahagous - Eating or consuming everything.
Quote of the Day: Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say. everything they do - Anon
Go forth and multiply.
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